Things you do while the rest of the world is working…

I wanted to write this post while I was back in Madison. The post was going to consist of all the ways I had managed to waste time and keep busy while the rest of the world did things of value and importance. Most everyone I knew had a job, if not two, and was taking summer classes. Me? I purposefully only bought one day of groceries at a time, just so I would be able to make a to-do list every day with one item: grocery shop. Those six jobless weeks before I left for Copenhagen were expensive, and not much else. It’s amazing how much being bored actually costs. All I did was find new ways to spend money.

I thought that would change when I pulled a game changer and moved to Copenhagen.


I’m still dinking around, spending money, while everyone else works.

Today was the first day of classes at CBS. In true Melissa Faulkner fashion – I didn’t have any. My validity as a student is in question – even in Copenhagen (I’m talking to you Janelle and Jenn). I did have an orientation to go to…but skipped out on the second half because naturally, the less responsibility I have, the less I want. Seems now would be a good time to incorporate the hash tag #winning…..

In true Melissa fashion, everyone was hard at work in class today. And me? I decided to tackle the world’s longest shopping street. It was an innocent beginning: I needed another towel and a different bed sheet. Completely legitimate purchases. After all, the sheet they provided me with is just a fitted terry cloth sheet (apparently the Danes really like sleeping on sandpaper?) and the towel they gave me is the size of a dish rag (not all of us can have a fit, tiny, “I’ve been biking since I left the womb” ass. Thanks for making me self conscious Denmark). After finding those items at the Danish Walmart aka Fotex, I continued to stumble around outside, seeing as the weather turned out to be much nicer than anticipated!

And then, the doors of heaven opened and the shopping gods shined down upon me.



I broke my sandal.

I know that no one is going to believe this, but I swear on everything holy – my sandal broke while I was in the shopping Mecca of the world. I had no choice. I had to go get a new pair. I had to go in the store. Maybe I didn’t have to go in the next one, or the next one…but I HAD TO GET NEW SHOES OKAY? Sorry I’m not sorry.

It gets even funnier and/or tragic.

While sitting down, waiting to try on a new pair of lovely, strappy, gray sandals…the seam on the calf of my pants ripped. This is not a joke. I repeat, this is not a joke.

Now, this was a little more upsetting. I really love these all-swag, black silk pants. They are trendy, yet feel like sweat pants. But alas, there are worse places in the world to rip your pants cuz your calves are too fat (once again, thanks Denmark, I get it). Because of this event, the next few store encounters were completely justified, necessary, and informative. I HAD to get new pants! I also learned a lot about Danish culture while I shopped. Things like: sudden rain just means you have to go back in the store for longer…and that 40% off on the Danish Kroner converts to about 5% off in US Dollars…….

Now would be another good time for #winning.

It’s official. I have now spent more on clothing than I have on food since arriving. If I keep this up, maybe I, too, can get a Danish ass.


About Melissa Faulkner

1. If I blog, someone will eventually discover me. 2. If someone eventually discovers me, I will become rich and famous. 3. If I blog, I will become rich and famous. Follow me for shorter, daily doses! @melisslyss
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