You know how I know you’re from Wisconsin?

After a bad case of insomnia yesterday morning, I was able to fall back asleep at about 10 AM, thinking there would be no need for an alarm. Poor thinking. I woke up at 2:30 PM, with about 45 minutes to spare until I had my first Copenhagen Business School orientation. 15 of that needed to go to travel time. So I met my new international colleagues for the first time sans shower. That’s how I know I am from Wisconsin.

The orientation basically consisted of a long and painful lecture about globalization, given by an American professor, teaching at a British university in China, and now doing a guest seminar at CBS for the summer. He proceeded to talk about why America sucks and why China rules but that is really beside the point.  The point is there was a BBQ after, and having gone almost 14 hours without food, I would have listened to him lecture about the Balanced Scorecard or anything else equally as boring just for a taste of some Danish cole slaw. 

And oh my, was it good cole slaw. 1 part cabbage, 6 part mayo. I loved it. And that’s how I know I’m from Wisconsin.

At the BBQ, I finally met up with the two other UW students that are also doing the summer program here. There is a full blown bar in the center of our school where we had the opportunity to purchase drinks for a “reasonable price.” Most people were lightly sipping on glasses of 25 Kroner beer, making light chit chat. Then Colin walks up with a pitcher and 5 cups – doing his days of Terrace drinking proud. And that’s how I know he is from Wisconsin. Colin’s response – “100 DK for 5 cups or 1 cup for 25. I’m a business major. I know a deal when I see one.”

After horrifying the other international students, we decided that it was time to take our drinking to the street. Because we can do that here. Which is awesome. At the grocery store I purchased two beers and one pair of tights. One beer to drink on the walk, one beer to drink at our unknown destination, and one pair of tights for I have no idea.

Kristine, the lovely Australian that was traveling with us was just about in tears at how cheap it was for her to buy wine, compared to Australia. Only to discover that she had bought alcohol free wine.

Some hours later, we wandered back to the BBQ at CBS, which had been transformed into a raging dance party,  DJ and strobe lights included. Ali (my other Wisco partner in crime) and I decided to switch to whisky cokes. Upon first sip, we both wondered if the bar tender had forgotten to add the whisky. And that’s how I know we are from Wisconsin. They just don’t make um like they do at Wando’s in other parts of the world.

Ali and I were drenched in sweat about 10 minutes into the dance party. Apparently they don’t do the Stanky Leg in other parts of the world. We were immediately labeled as “those American girls.” And then we requested Call Me Maybe and sang at the top of lungs and whipped our hair back and forth. While the rest of the bar watched in disgust. And that’s how I know we are from Wisconsin. And everyone else knows it too.

While in the bathroom, I overheard a guy having a conversation with a girl about life as a Gopher in Minnesota. I politely tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Don’t forget to mention how much better life would be if you could just win the Axe one last time…” And that’s how he knows I am from Wisconsin.

And then I left to find the Ian’s Pizza. And that’s how I know I’m from Wisconsin. 

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About Melissa Faulkner

1. If I blog, someone will eventually discover me. 2. If someone eventually discovers me, I will become rich and famous. 3. If I blog, I will become rich and famous. Follow me for shorter, daily doses! @melisslyss
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One Response to You know how I know you’re from Wisconsin?

  1. Ali says:

    This is perfect. ‘murica. PS no I’m sorry you think you party until seven inthe morning. It doesn’t count if your drinks are NA and you didn’t black out.

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