I sat down to write some really deep philosophical post about change and how its literally and metaphorically expensive and we all must change to grow blah blah blah blah blah.
I stared blankly at the computer screen for 20 minutes and then decided to just write about how I feel.
I feel like crap.
Janelle and Jenn are out to dinner at Olive Garden with Janelle’s lovely family celebrating Nay’s induction into adulthood. That beautiful girl graduated from college today, and I am frankly pretty pissed about it. If I had known that when I met her through Craigslist she would form dreams and hopes of her own, just to move to NYC and leave me, I would have thought twice. Even though I have til August with her (minus 6 weeks when I go to Copenhagen, because obviously I am allowed to have my own dreams and plans but she isn’t….), but I am already beside myself miserable at the thought of not seeing her every day.
There are so many things I am going to miss about living with all those girls. So many ways that each of them filled voids I didn’t know I had.
I’m going to miss the way Morgan always thanked me for cleaning the bathroom sink. I am going to miss the way she thanked me even if it wasn’t me, but I went along with it anyway. You know who is going to thank me for cleaning up when I live alone next year? No one, that’s who. What am I gonna do? Make a gold star chart for myself for every time I wipe down the sink? Yeah, no.
I am going to miss Leigh’s Friday night pregame playlists. In which she would play Chris Brown “Wet the Bed” immediately followed by Bon Iver. And the mood would drop for a good 45 seconds and then Bailey would say, “Um, what the hell is this?”
I’ll miss hearing Jenn scream “WHERE IS THE SHARING STICK???” in the middle of a three person conversation that was dominated by Janelle and I. I’ll miss watching her to try to get just a single word in on the convo, just to be interrupted again by Janelle who would usually have something completely irrelevant to say, like “Can I eat popcorn after I’ve already had two lean cuisines? Or should we just go to Yimmy Yohns?”
I’ll miss coming home to Jenn sitting on the couch at 10:30 AM eating pasta covered in ketchup (or what I perceive to be ketchup because she doesn’t want to spend the extra 20 cents for the spiced sauce). Teen Mom will most likely be on the TV. I’ll miss Janelle refusing to watch with us because she’s convinced that if she watches it, she will surely have an accidental pregnancy. Since that is how karma works apparently.
I will desperately miss Bailey’s laugh. The way her voice echoed through all the floor vents. I will miss thinking, “What the hell could possibly be THAT funny????”
I will miss Morgan and Leigh’s Friday Cook-offs. I will miss there incredible ability to bake/make/cook mass quantities of food in one afternoon. I will miss their inability to eat it all…because then I directly benefited.
I’ll miss seeing Morgan at the kitchen table every single morning before class, coffee and lap top out. Reading the Wall Street Journal. Because she was actually a good business student. I’ll miss walking to class with her every day, while she graciously entertained my complaints about classes that she had already taken. I’ll miss her telling me to stop walking so fast because she was starting to sweat and it was only 39 degrees outside.
I’ll miss the way that Leigh never frowned. Really, is frowning even physically possible for Leigh? Has anyone ever seen that girl without the widest smile on her face? REALLY. In addition to that gorgeous smile, I’ll miss waiting an extra 15 minutes to go out because Leigh was brushing her teeth. If you were to add up all the hours that Leigh has spent brushing her teeth, I think it might outweigh the number of hours she was spent sleeping. Her brushing routine was impressive. If I had teeth that nice, I’d smile that much too.
I’ll miss cuddling in bed with Jenn. I’ll miss having a house buddy that was always up at the crack of dawn like I was. Regardless of how late we were out the night before.
I’ll miss Bailey’s messy bun. She always had the best messy bun. I always try to get my messy buns to look like Bailey’s messy buns. And for those of you at home that are concerned, I am talking about her hair.
I’ll miss helping Janelle grow up. I’ll miss answering her questions about everything from credit card bills to how to set up a gmail to how to put pesto on noodles.
I’ll miss everything.
I am so proud of you girls.
Change is expensive. It costs a lot of memories.