Have you ever heard the commercial on the radio about Migraine Awareness? Some super sad music starts playing, and for a second you think Sarah Mclachlan’s voice is going to come on and tell you all about puppy abuse (tearing up right now just thinking about). But then you remember it is the radio, not the TV, so there can’t be any scarring visual imagery. The commercial goes on to talk about all the memories that Chronic Migraine Sufferers miss out on because of their migraines. I am immediately comforted by the fact that I belong to a category of people – C.M.S’s – and that this group is so large that we get a radio ad. I wonder where I can find these people and if we can all sit around in misery together. But then I really get thinking…what memories have I missed out on because of my migraines? Legit question. What didn’t I do today because I had a migraine?
1. Did not start my 5,000 word essay. Let’s be honest here, my body probably produced a migraine in an effort to avoid that dreadful activity.
2. I did not get coffee. I have found out the hard way that when I resort to caffeine to fix my migraines, I inevitably end up with an even worse migraine the next day. However, by skipping coffee, I also skipped the heartbreak of finding out that the Open Pantry has now ended their 99 cent coffee promotion, and will now be raising prices back to $1.50. I heard of this tragedy from my roommate instead. That was probably a better way to find out. I think I may have slugged the cashier if the unexpected price raise had been a surprise.
3. I missed my morning Econ 102 lecture. Which means I missed sitting in front of the annoying freshmen that love to talk about “fat joints” and “dirty girls” throughout the entire lecture. I sit in a different location every lecture, so either these jerk-offs are following me or the entire freshmen class at UW is hopeless. (Whatever, my fault for waiting til “senior” year to take the course)
4. I missed at least 4 problems on my Accounting quiz. The format of the quiz was entirely different from what I expected. I panicked. And my head began to explode. So I just filled in the “C” bubble for 4 questions, quickly turned it in, and then curled up in a ball underneath my seat and cried. Not really. But I thought about it.
5. I missed out on yoga. Hmph.
6. I missed out on a shower. Sorry, world. My b.
Chronic Migraine Sufferers, find me. Let’s hug. I promise to shower beforehand.